For your eyes only and of course gossip beyond that....

Sometimes you have no reason but you feel nice and you smile, some other times you have all the reason to feel happy but you don't smile and then of course there are occasions when you have reasons and so you smile. Sometimes you want to stay in the present cause you have many things on your mind, sometimes you want to be be reflective of the past as there is not too much in the present and then there are times when you have a lot on your mind in the present and still want to think of the past. Walking back from office today I found myself smiling, pleasantly and I had no thoughts on my mind. Just the general feeling of being here in WHO, of having dreamt it always and being here, of having wanted to work in malaria and in public health and feeling I have achieved some of it. Just the reflection of my past 7-8 months brings back a smile on my face!

On friday evening, my regular first friday of the month bhangra party, and I was there right on dot in the party. I am a small celebrity there for obvious reasons, one I sport a turban and bread and I can dance well. So this weekend I was on the dancing floor and went to the bar to get a drink. There were many girls, many guys, some couples, some seemingly single. A pair of girls sitting in front of me, one simple and good looking, the other better than average but very done up with (if only I could either one of them, especially the simple one); another couple walks in and I know, the girl talks very courteously to me (cause she recently realised I work for WHO and she wants to get into public health); there are many more on the stage, some walk up to me to let me know that they remember me from last time when I taught them to dance, AWESOME!!! So I meander through the crowd teaching some, learning from others, making others enjoy and getting my enjoyment from them.

The better than average but very done up girl appears from somewhere and starts dancing a step away from me, I take the step and join her, trying to complement her western moves with my desi ones. She responds and faces me, and we start moving in a rhythm, getting closer. I see her friend is also there moving a bit but alone in the corner with no company, yet not more than a step or two from me. I see her from far but don't move in sensing that she wants not to mingle and will not respond. I keep dancing with the other friend, and then leave for some respite and a drink. On my way back, my friend standing by the side of the floor points towards the simple girl still trying to move around on her own. I decide to move in, walk close to her and just stand there looking at her feet and as planned she gets conscious. Now that I had her attention, I started moving my steps in whatever rhythm it is that she was doing. After all these weeks of dancing, I know how to get people to dance to my tunes. After a while she gets conscious enough and to break the ice I say that she could probably move out of the box. She was consciously trying to dance in a particular block of the disc floor and I had noticed that, something she wouldn't have expected I would come out with as an opener. Soon enough I had her attention and she started following me as I led her through a mire of bhangra steps. Strangely, she picked on very well!
While my friend swooped in for the other girl, with whom I had already created an opening. More bhangra, some songs, more steps later she left the floor to go out and sit with her friend. After taking my sweet time, I went and introduced myself to her and got on talking. If I should say I wasn't wooed by her beautiful eyes, perfect features and not a tread of makeup, add to it her a bit reserved nature.... ooooohhhh I was getting smitten by her....

This girl was a psychologist from Moscow, yes she was russian. Bollywood was not new to her and so she caught on bhangra well. Favouraite actor: Mithun of all people! More talks, some uncomfortable pauses, my desire to head back to floor and no twing to be noticed in her blue eyes. I wnet back with to the floor and taught her some more, finally I was able to get her to the center of the floor- a sort of couple dancing while the rest watch kinds. She feels great, a smile on her face is evident and as if she wasn't glowing before- she glows some more. More time and we head out again, she goes alone watching portraits hanging in the club, I get some water: I want to talk to her, but don't want to seem desperate or coming over too strong lest she might run. I have given her enough evidence that I am interested, I assume. Still I walk up to her and strangely she asks for water, I get it for her (its a task to get water in a pub where alcohol is flowing and water fetches the bar-tender no money!). I get back to her and her friend asks for water, I get one for her too. Meanwhile, my friends from previous parties, acquaintances and others keep on pouring in and I can't help but talk to them. I go on the dance floor, hoping she will come. After I while, I leave the floor and she is nowhere to be seen- she left I guess- my heart sank. I went in thnking that perhaps it was for the best. I make new eye contacts and keep sweating. Soon enough though I notice her walking back into the dance room/floor. Voila, I approach and soon I am again with her. From then on till 1or 2 whnever the DJ finally said it is over I was with her. I did leave her sometimes to go in the center and put up a show indulging in dancing duels but strangely I get no response from her (no you  were awesome or great), I should have felt bad but instead I got more smitten by her simplicity and aloofness.... She appealed to me somewhere deep....

After a good last session of dancing where I was litreally flirting with her in all manners possible, getting as close to her, touching her on every occassion possible, holding her hands while saying you are doing this step wrong etc etc... The songs ended, the dance floor vacated and the DJ called me for the last song (a slow Kishore number) to sing along with him. But I had more pressing issues, like she should not leave without me.. I had to say a rushed bye and off I went behind her. Luckily I didnt have to force myself again, I had taught her a step and she just couldn't get it out of her mind or her legs. As she kept jumping over and over again, her friend asked me what I had done to her that she is dancing around!! Totally hinting, and I thought I am in now as her friend too is on my side. Soon out in the open, her friend walked away leaving me alone with her- AWESOME!!! What more would I need than absolute support from her friend. Some talks later I tried not to sound desperate and ask for her number but did open a possible channel of communication through the facebook Bhangra group. I gave her the name of the group and thought she would join it- and then I would befriend her and then.... A long circle of thoughts ending right upto taking her to India one day. They don't say that mind travels faster than the light for no reason. Here is this girl meeting me for the first time and already I have thought about eons ahead.

Finally she says she would have to be with her friend and I also take the clue that enough is enough and that to meet tomorrow we need to part today. So here I go wishing that tomorrow would be as hormone pumping as the night has been. Meeting more people pouring out from the club, hailing a cab and reaching the confines of my home all happened in a different era thereafter where I was intoxicated and hung-over with the strongest addiction of all!!! Before I could have seen outside my window to see the fabulous morning, my laptop was up and running and me on facebook. I sifted through 200-300 odd members of the bhangra group dilligently looking at each one of them. I remembered her first name vaguely and used it to search members: there were more than 500 girls with that first name. I used my google skills to narrow it down but none of those profile pics was even closer to what she looked like. My heart sank but it was also restless and hopeful, that sooner than later I will be able to get her... Shifting on the bed, going through emails, calling people, and checking facebook every other moment became a norm but time just would not pass...

At 3 pm that fateful Saturday, I saw her face on the list of bhangra group followers.... I was looking at her for the first time with no alcohol to modify my senses and I can only say that I know not how many moments I spent looking at her profile picture. SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL!!!!

I could feel my heart stopping and then beating erratically, smitten by her beauty my heart itself was forgetting how to beat- its head dizzy from this sudden assault...

I sent her a friend request but that would not be immediately accepted- DAMN it these slow times where people are not 24*7 connected to their facebook accounts!!! Waiting for her to respond I exhausted searching for her on google and going through every trivial detail available via her limited facebook profile accessible to me!!! I knew she supported same sex marriage, supported Iceland's recovery, wanted to get into George Mason University's psychology programme, and cross-fit fan...
The more I looked at her.. the more I..... On and on my flirtation with her limited profile went on. Adding a direct bookmark to her profile I ensured that I was just one click away from her. Her profile was always open on my page. Eating, Sleeping, Talking, Working and looking at her profile... Aaaahhhh....

The day passed off, the morning came and passed and my restlessness kept on waxing and waning but finally finally she had accepted and the Gods had shined upon me!!!! On and on her I went through her pictures and I knew already: 'She is WAY out of my league..." 

AAAAAHHHHH....

Can I say that I could have not been in any way avoided getting more and more intoxicated by her looks.

But then... I went through her profile and... my jaw was left open. This couldn't be true, she couldn't be... OH NO. Damn, here I was cooking all this in my mind, but!!!! I had asked her if she had a boyfriend BUT BUT... she HAD said a no. OH, I can't believe it. She was not wrong but... But she WAS
MARRIED!!!! 

Her sweet beauty and simplicity had left me bitten!!! 
Now everything felt into place, her nonchalant attitude, her simplicity, the openness and yet her closed nature... It took me a while before I could smile and still more before I could write this to you...

Hopefully it was a good read!!!

Laughing on my luck!
But seriously I still find her very very beautiful!!

Prabhjot